Sometimes but not all the time!
What am I talking about? Trying to please everyone and at the end no one ends up pleased, not you or them. A-huh! I know you’ve all been there done that at some point.Here is the definition of a people pleaser: putting everyone before yourself, feeling addicted to being needed (not contributing to another’s life but taking the focus off yours), Over-committing leading to extra stress, anxiety and lack of sleep which can also lead to depression, not asking for what you want and being afraid that people will not understand and finally, not giving others more credit to respect you even more by being yourself.
I have a collection of amazing friends, all of which I love dearly, my family, a jam-packed work schedule, workouts, appointments, me time, and little bit of other things, and only 7 days in a week and 16 – 18 hour days to fit all of that in there. I set up a calendar to organize all of the above, making sure they don’t overlap. But there are exceptions to the rule when surprises pop-up!
So, am I a bit overwhelmed? Yes. Should I be overworked and stressed? HECK NO! People-pleasing is not a habit of mine but a choice. A choice, when I have the time and I can really enjoy it, I people-please. 😀
This past weekend, few different groups of my dear friends wanted to see me and plan fun outings. Who would say no to all that? Me. But my lucky luck, all plans overlapped in one night!
Was I supposed to choose one or some or all? I wanted to see them all and share all the great moments so I decided to time myself and grab whomever I can from one spot, drag to the other and keep going to the finish line: one big group at the end. 😀
Was I happy? Yeap. Did they have a good time? Yeappers! For those who wanted more time, I fit them in the “schedule” later on and made that happen too over the next few days when it was easier for me. But for that night, I did not get stressed or worked up over whom I’m going to disappoint or not.
Of course, there are times that this scenario is not possible so I do what comes natural and comfortable for me, as I know they would do the same as well. There is only one of you and plenty of your loved ones. Prioritize and be honest. Honesty is the key: first and foremost with yourself.
People pleasing only takes a positive meaning if you don’t spread yourself too thin and you don’t feel out of place, uncomfortable, disappointed, stressed out, and whatever else comes with that kind of pressure.
Treat yourself with utmost respect and the rest will follow.
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
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