To my sweet Nikta

These days it definitely feels like I’m on board of the life train but didn’t realize I’m on the Express! First of all, what happened to April, May and June? Does anybody know? Are you guys on the same train as I am or am I the only one who thinks she got a regular ticket but ended up on a fast track train?!

I woke up on Canada Day (July 1st) and it hit me: It’s JULY! Already??? When did that happen?

Then I panicked… naturally! ūüėÄ I asked myself: Am I on track with my plans and goals? Am I missing any steps? And, have I lived every day fully and productively, at least, in these last few months?

I went over my calendar and it was jam-packed with all the colours under the rainbow (I colour coordinate all my plans and activities, keeping track of everything). I’ve been writing my progress, productivity, events, activities, etc. on a daily basis for the past 9 years. Most of your days are probably similar to mine, bussssssyyyy, but if you don’t make note of them you might feel you haven’t accomplished anything significant and just been busy with stuff! The small stuff pile up to great achievements when you give them a little extra attention by writing them down.

Ok back on track – no pun intended! There are many other reasons behind asking the questions mentioned above but one most important reason is that one of my very dear friends lost her mom to cancer last week, after eight years of battling the ugly beast. My heart bleeds as I’m writing this, as her mom was one of the most caring, loving, respectful women I have ever met. A very strong and yet gentle soul, well known for her kindness whom wouldn’t do short of anything for her children or her loved ones. A very tragic loss for all of us who loved her dearly and looked up to her.

Up to this point, I’ve been very proud of myself for appreciating, loving and cherishing every moment of my life fully and making sure I don’t overlook and miss out on the good stuff. But since last week, as I offered my shoulder for her tears (shedding many of my own)¬†and¬†pouring her heart out of the unbearable numbing¬†pain, something has changed¬†which has¬†shaken me to my core.

During our conversations I’ve learned from her that I can step so much deeper into this level of love and appreciation for my loved ones – way deeper. She has been teaching me that for years but I had not felt it to this degree yet. There’s always room for more. She has been my idol for taking so much joy and totally immersing herself in her moments with her mom throughout all these years. Never missed a good moment. That’s how it should be for everyone. You can slow down time this way.

This train is an Express after all: filling up colour coordinated calendars, taking notes, spending time with our loved ones as much as we can, hoping we get as much done as possible while missing a thing or two. We do all this to save quality time. Saving it for what? Later? Time is one thing you can never get back.

This train, however, slows down when we notice and stay in our sweet moments longer and love them deeper, enough for us to appreciate them just the way my friend did all these years and even more so in the last few months. That’s incalculable joy. That’s ultimate happiness and priceless fulfilled memories.

Thank you for the big lesson honey.

Slow the trains down.

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